Make It Yours

It wasn’t until I started planning my wedding over 2 years ago that I realized rules are meant to be broken. I couldn’t believe how many “musts” are involved in the traditional wedding. It never occurred to me that my wedding should reflect my wants and personality (and my husband’s). I was more concerned about people being disappointed to experience something against the wedding norm.

But then I wised up. We were on a fairly tight budget, so obviously some of these traditions weren’t going to work out. So, which ones could we throw out? All of them, as it turns out. We started thinking about what was most important to us and how we envisioned the most perfect day of our lives. From there, things just started getting easier-- even fun! And looking back on the way it turned out, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I have always been much more of a day person than night, so I decided to have the ceremony at 1pm, followed by the reception at 3. Instead of the traditional chicken, starch & veg dinner, we opted for a pig roast— my husband’s favorite. The dressed pig made for a great decoration (my apologies to the vegetarians) and it was a pleasant change from the typical wedding menu. There were a variety of sauces for the pork, and our sides included pasta salad and grilled marinated peppers, onions & squash. Everyone commented on what a great meal it was.

The next thing I nixed was the veil because it’s just not me. I had some real qualms about this one because you’re only a bride once and I really wanted to look like one. But I also wanted to look like me and the veil just seemed too serious. Along those same lines, I took the liberty of choosing the most ridiculous bible reading of all time because I thought all of the options were a little outdated and silly (I’m a devout Catholic, but you have to be able to laugh at yourself sometimes!)… The reading I chose had something to do with “my lover leaping like a gazelle.” I figured I might as well have a little fun with the limited selection. It lightened the mood, too-- everyone had a good laugh.

I am also Irish, which if you know us, we like to shout it from the rooftops. It’s not a detail you leave out of conversations with people you’ve just met. So, I not only canned “Here Comes the Bride”; I hired a bagpiper to do all of my church music. Then, my cousins and I did an Irish dance to open the reception and get people going.

My absolute favorite thing about my wedding was the location of the reception. We were thrilled to find out that my in-laws were willing to let us use their bay house in southern Maryland. We grew up near the water, so having our reception on the St. Clement’s Bay was really a reflection of who we are. People walked along the hill overlooking the water or sat down by the pier over the course of the afternoon. It was truly a relaxed wedding and we were relaxed as a result.

The bottom line is that you don’t have to do anything for your special day. The more you free yourself from the traditional norms, the better your day will turn out—because it will be about you!

Best of, Worst of Budget Wedding Planning

Wouldn't it be nice if you didn't have any budget whatsoever for your wedding? You could have the most extravagant cake and flowers, the most eclectic and exotic food, an 8-piece band, you name it. I've watched my fair share of "Platinum Weddings" and I have to admit, it's a little depressing knowing that I could never have an event like that. But to be honest, I think it's kind of fun planning a wedding on a budget. It's so much more interesting. I'll take you through my favorite and most challenging/ least favorite aspects of planning a wedding on a budget.

The best thing about planning a wedding on a budget is the creativity. A fabulous wedding absolutely depends on it! On the show that I previously mentioned- Platinum Weddings- I saw a lot of gorgeous settings and spreads, but I also saw a lot of cafeteria looking backgrounds that had been not-so-successfully spiffed up by $100K worth of decor and details. To be honest, I can't understand why someone would pay double what you could do just as well yourself or with a scaled down version that looks better than the expensive one!

For instance, my specific budget wedding favorites are flowers and decor. I've seen centerpieces that will run you about $300 per table for basically a giant antique vase full of imported red roses. Maybe it's just me, but 75 red roses bundled together doesn't impress me. It's so boring and typical. On the other hand, you can fill a $5 vase with sand, water, seashells, grasses and brightly colored gerbera daisies for less than $20 per table. It looks so unique, fresh and classy and it doesn't cost an arm and a leg. There are so many other creative options and alternatives to the typical centerpiece- just use your imagination!

My other favorite aspect of budget wedding planning is the bar. There are so many ways to get creative here. The first and most obvious- the signature drink. Don't provide a full bar if you're on a tight budget. Just stick to a crowd pleaser like sangria, bay breezes, or margaritas. If you are serving wine, just pick a white and a red. Don't get into chardonnay, pinot grigio, cabernet, merlot, etc. One red and one white is more than fine. For beer, your best bet is to get kegs and keep them hidden behind the bar (keep it classy ;)... Depending on how many guests you have, you might get 3 kegs of Bud Light, 2 kegs of Yuengling, and 2 kegs of Amstel Light. This is a good enough variety of flavors and they're not too expensive (Amstel Light would be the most expensive of the 3).

My least favorite things about planning a wedding on a budget are the food compromises and the cake compromises. However, this doesn't mean it can't be done well- it just means I wish I could have the most amazing food and cake around because I'm a real foodie :)

The only things about catering that have held me back actually are seafood options (and of course filet, but we can do without that). So, if you are unable to do shrimp cocktail and crab balls, try to think of cheaper ways to incorporate seafood into your menu. This, of course, implies that you want seafood, so if you don't then there are plenty of wonderful alternatives for you. If you do like seafood, consider dips or fried things- like crab dip or fried shrimp. The crab dip allows you to feed more people because most people will take a spoonful and move on, while crab balls are more intricate and people can easily "pop" them all night. Fried shrimp are a cheaper alternative to crab balls. You get the idea...

If you don't like seafood, the sky is the limit- think black bean quesadilla wedges, meatballs, mini roll ups (like sandwich wraps), chips and salsa, hot spinach and artichoke dip, mini pizzas, cheese and crackers, etc for hors d' oeuvres. For dinner, you could spice up a traditional chicken dish by making it "Jamaican Jerk Chicken" or skewers/ kabobs with chicken and beef. I also like to stray from the traditional sides like potatoes and green beans because I think it's fun to disguise that you're on a budget. Instead of going really plane jane, why not make it something really different that leaves people guessing? I like sides like balsamic pasta salad with tomato and mozzarella and grilled, marinated veggie medley. These dishes hide the fact that you're on a budget because they are so different and delicious!

Ok, for cake, it's really just the decoration that gets the kibosh- but only from the cake designer. You can find unique ways to spiff it up yourself. Think ribbons and real flowers. Just because you can't have 20 hand crafted sugar flowers or pearl borders all over the place, doesn't mean it won't look nice. I think that simple can be better sometimes, too. When these cakes get too busy, they tend to look a little tacky and ridiculous. Try to keep it classy by cascading real flowers down the different tiers- flowers that were left over from your arrangements and won't cost much extra.

So even the tedious parts of budget wedding planning have solutions and can be a lot of fun once you get your creative juices flowing. Let me know if you have any other unique ideas for saving money on your wedding. Check out Maryland Budget Wise Weddings for more ideas: http://www.budgetwiseweddingmd.com

Wedding DIY Do’s and Don’ts

There are so many aspects of a wedding that can be done yourself, while still looking great and without getting stressed. Often times, you’ll enjoy making things for your wedding and take a certain sense of pride in giving your day that personal touch.

However, there are certain things about your day that should be handled by a professional. One reason is to keep your stress level down-- in some situations, you won’t even save that much money by doing things yourself. Another reason is that some services require a certain level of expertise-- you might think that some of these things are easier than they really are.

This list will take you through different wedding categories and how you can best utilize your own versus professional services for your big day.

Wedding DIY Do’s:

Makeup

You do your makeup a certain way every day because that is the way that you like to look. I’ve always found that a makeup artist who doesn’t know me makes me look like a completely different person. It’s either way too dark or I just don’t like the colors on me. I’ve always been happier doing my own makeup—when I get it professionally done, I usually end up wiping it off and fixing it myself anyway.

Save the Dates

Save the dates are a really fun way to get creative and let your personality shine through. There are a ton of options that can be printed online very quickly and easily, including magnets, postcards, photos, etc. You can also feed cardstock through your own printer and design them your own way.

Gifts/ favors

Gifts to your parents, each other, and wedding party should be personal. If you enjoy art, you might consider painting wine glasses or a picture frame with a nice photo in it. If you are beach people, you might fill a nice jar with sand and shells, etc. Think about what people appreciate about you and try to incorporate that into your gifts and favors. Favors can be as simple as buying bulk candies and scooping them into little sachet bags. If you are both really into music, you might want to make wedding mix cds to give out as favors. The sky is the limit!

Flowers

In season flowers can be picked up from local farmers markets for very reasonable prices. You can make your own bouquets and centerpieces that will look beautiful! All you need is flowers, some greenery, florist tape and ribbon. While you hold the flowers together, someone else tapes them together. You may want to consider ordering boutonnieres or nixing them altogether because they’re a little more complicated, but there are a ton of step-by-step tutorials on the internet if you’re feeling ambitious. Centerpieces are especially fun to make because you can get creative with things like lemon wedges, sand, shells, sea glass and many other accents.

Music

It is always nice to have a DJ or band to not only handle the music for your reception, but also to announce the various events. However, if you are on a tight budget, you could make a playlist on your iPod ahead of time (one that will last several hours) and ask an outgoing family friend to “em-cee” the events (announcing the wedding party, tossing the bouquet, cutting the cake, sending tables up to the buffet, etc). You can rent speakers and a microphone for less than $300 for the weekend, which is significantly less than a DJ or band would cost.

Video

Videography is a service that many couples choose to forego altogether. Many people are more concerned with photography. Wedding videos can be expensive if you choose to have the footage edited. If you just want to see snippets of the entire day, you could ask a family member or friend who has a video camera to try to record the big parts of the day so you will have something look back on besides pictures.

Wedding DIY Don’ts

Catering

A lot of people who have been involved in the restaurant or catering business have a hard time handing the work off to someone else when they know they could do it themselves for half the price. This is your day—you should not be worried about the timing and temperature of food for 100+ people. It’s simply too big of a task to take on without sacrificing the precious time that will fly by on your wedding day.

Cake

Baking a birthday cake is simply not the same as the mastery involved in creating a wedding cake. The design itself is just one aspect of it. When baking a cake for a large number of people, there is a lot of structural work. Think of a wedding cake as a piece of construction- if the building is not put together properly, it will surely topple over or collapse. If you wouldn’t try to build your own house, don’t try to make your own wedding cake.

Invitations

Printing your own invitations sounds like a great idea but it can be a nightmare of a headache. Things go wrong with formatting and you will become stressed out very quickly. You can easily find invitations (with response card, envelopes, etc) for less than $3 per invitation online. It’s worth the extra $2 per invite to have someone take care of it for you. This is one area that you should save yourself the hassle.

Photography

You might have several friends who enjoy photography as a hobby and are great at it. However, I would strongly consider their ability to shoot all types of settings before asking them to take your wedding pictures. These are pictures that you will want to look back on for the rest of your life. You want them to be perfect! Your friend might have an incredible talent for shooting nature and scenery, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that they know how to capture a wedding. Just make sure you look at several portfolios and are happy with what you see.

Hair

Unless you are wearing your hair very simply (all down or just a bobby pin or something like that), you should really consider getting your hair professionally done. You don’t want to get frustrated if you aren’t able to get it the way you like and the last thing you want to do on your wedding day is become stressed out. It’s also a really nice relaxing way to be pampered on your big day.

Of course, if you are on a really tight budget, you can find ways to make these situations work on your own—but if it’s simply a matter of prioritizing where you spend your money, I recommend following the outline above. I’ve listed both the do’s and don’ts in order of what I think are most important. So, the top of the Do’s list are the easiest things to make DIY projects. The top of the Don’ts list are the things that I would say absolutely do not do yourself.

As you progress down the lists, it’s a judgment call. I hope this helps as you begin your wedding planning. It is a fun process that can be as laid back or stressful as you make it, so try to think about what you enjoy, what is most important to you and work around the rest. Enjoy your day!